distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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