you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You're a waste of cheezeits
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
