dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
