Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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