all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
