the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
