Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
