yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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