apparently the secret to your success is patron
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
