it wasn't lemon gatorade
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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