I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
