I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
