You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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