is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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