my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
