We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
