question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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