is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
