Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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