You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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