I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
