She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
