All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
