if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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