you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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