Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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