Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
