is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
