I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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