I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize