I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
