I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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