did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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