lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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