I'm going to jail i love you
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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