I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
