how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
