I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
