Your tits are I can't wait for
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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