I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize