Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
