Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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