so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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