Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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