The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize