Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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