I accidentally had phone sex last night
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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