I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
Randomize
