I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
