Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
