'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
