took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
