i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
