Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
