If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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