you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
