How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize