Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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