By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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