oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
