Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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