Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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