What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
