He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
